


i just wanna know if i should keep your number

by eerien



Series: Spideypool Bingo 2019 [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Identity Reveal, M/M, Not Beta Read, Spideypool Bingo 2019, We Die Like Men, bingo prompt: wrong number, ok it's just a try at humor i'm not funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:05:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerien/pseuds/eerien
Summary: Peter's brain short-circuits when giving his phone to Wade when in civvies and gives his Spider-Man number, the one Wade already has saved.





	i just wanna know if i should keep your number

Maybe it was his Parkers Luck that Deadpool also took a liking to his person out-of-mask too, because it was not possible. He was a trouble magnet wherever he went. Just his luck.

In an ultimate act of boredom, Deadpool decided to break into Stark Industries and started to mess around, scaring off hardened employees and skittish interns alike from labs and hallways. When security was informed of the nuisance, they were too scared to deal with Deadpool they had to call one of the Avengers to come deal with him. And meanwhile the wait, the anti-hero found himself into the lab where Peter was.

“Wassup my beautiful nerds!” He exclaimed banging the reinforced glass doors open. “Don’t mind me, I’m just doing your regular security round. And I’m just kidding, y’all ain’t beautiful. You guys look like the every day nerd that would be bullied in school, don’t look like that to me Stuart!” He babbled and pointed at a random guy that was about to sneak out, then tilted his head slightly upwards. “Yeah, I know I don’t have a say at how people look, White.”

Peter shot an annoyed look at the merc and went back to work, different of his co-workers that were trying to get out unnoticed of the lab since the anti-hero stepped in, he was about to make progress in his project and didn’t want to lose his thought process. Maybe if he ignored the merc he would go away soon.

Just his luck he was wrong.

“But not you, hello cutie~” Deadpool purred, the merc’s voice right next to him and he could see the red and black uniform in his peripheral vision. “Are sure you’re a nerd and not just a model that got lost and ended up here? Are you hired eye candy?? I bet you’re hired eye candy for the employees not be angry about increased workload or some shit like that. I’ll give that one to Iron Douche, smart move. I’d totally be hired eye candy too if I just hadn't been eaten up and spat back by a t-rex.” He kept on talking.

Peter had to will himself to not let out an annoyed sigh, so he just lifted his head from the microscope he was working on and got slightly startled by Deadpool’s proximity.

“Hey gorgeous.” He said before Peter could talk, the whites of his mask going half moon like, showcasing that the merc was grinning underneath the mask. Peter was always fascinated by how his mask could be so expressive, even though he got the eyes of his own to squint and expand to have some degree of expression. He would never admit out loud this fascination.

“Excuse me,” Peter frowned but tried to keep his expression as blank as possible. “I’m working.”

“I can see that.” the merc said, pulling a nearby chair with his foot and sitting down, elbows on the counter and his face propped up on his hands. Peter just sighed and tried to go back to work. “Sooo… What’s your name?”

“None of your business.” He replied dryly.

“Really? What an unusual name. I can’t imagine why your parents would give this name to such a pretty face. But is funny to picture them bossing you around the house.” Deadpool babbled. “ _None Of Your Business, go clean your room! None Of Your Business, did you do the dishes?_ ” he made his voice high pitched to mimic a mom talking. “By the way, is this your full name? So ‘None’ would be your first name?”

Peter couldn’t stop the smirk that formed in his lips, apparently Deadpool noticed and that’s how Peter Parker got a world wide renowned mercenary trailing him around and the motive of Stark Industries being invaded by said mercenary often.

++

It’s been months now that Wade has been breaking into Stark Industries ( _“If you’re that annoyed that I keep succeeding entering the building you should get a better security system, Tin Can!”_ ) to talk Peter up but it’s been years that Peter knew Wade as Spider-Man. Wade just didn’t know that Peter was Spider-Man and still hadn’t figured out.

“C’mon cutie patootie! It’s been months and I still don’t have your phone number! Whyyyy??” Wade whined from the floor where he was throwing his mock tantrum.

“So you could annoy me off clock? No thanks.” Peter answered still taking notes on his notepad.

“Yes and no! I want your number so I can ask you out on a date instead of lightly stalk you and pretend to coincidentally bump into you! Not that I stalked you in any level, no sir, I didn’t do it. Shut up, Yellow!”

“And who said I would go out on a date with you?” He asked, finally turning to look at Deadpool, who was up again.

“Of course you’d say yes. I know you fell for my charms and these guns.” the merc joked while flexing his arms, and Peter rolled his eyes, turning back to his notepad. “You’d say yes, right? No, you guys are wrong, shut up!!” he hissed the last part under his breath and Peter gave an exasperated sigh. He knew the boxes could be real mean to Wade.

“Okay, right! Fine! I’d definitely go out on a date with you and I’ll give you my number, so chill out for a minute.” He gave up doing the line hard to get, pretending to be annoyed and went back to working the chemicals in front of him. “Do you have your phone with you? I won’t spell my number to you twice.”

“Sir, yessir!!” Deadpool saluted and got his burner phone ready, pressing the numbers as Peter said them. Deadpool frowned down at his phone, looked at Peter - that was distracted with his work - and then back at his phone. “Uh… Sp-Petey?”

“Hmm?” the boy hummed in acknowledgment, not even noticing his slip up.

“It shows here that I already have your number?”

“What?” Peter looked up at Deadpool, confused and still a little bit distracted by his work train of thoughts.

When Deadpool turned his phone to him, it showed the number he just finished giving to him saved under _“Spideycakes♡”_ and Peter went pale.

**Author's Note:**

> hey wassup, i hope you guys enjoyed this train wreck  
> oh shit in 3 days is my birthday ):
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](https://eeirien.tumblr.com/)


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